Why Your Brain Won’t Stop Overthinking (And How to Turn It Off)
Have you ever caught yourself replaying one conversation over and over again?
Or lying awake at night thinking about everything that happened today… everything that might happen tomorrow… and everything you wish you had done differently?
Do you catch yourself spiraling into “what ifs” until your chest feels tight and your stomach drops?
If so, take a breath. You’re not the only one who feels this way.
Overthinking is incredibly common—especially for people who carry anxiety, responsibility, or the pressure to keep everything together.
And here in Chicago and throughout Illinois, so many people quietly Google the same questions:
“Why can’t I shut my brain off?”
“Why do I overthink everything?”
“How do I stop worrying about things I can’t control?”
“Why do I replay conversations in my head?”
If your mind feels like it’s constantly running—even when your body is exhausted—this blog is for you.
Let’s talk about why overthinking happens, why it feels impossible to stop, and what you can do to finally get some mental peace again.
What Overthinking Actually Is (And Why It Feels So Loud)
Most people think overthinking is a “bad habit.”
But it’s not.
Overthinking is your brain trying to keep you safe.
When your nervous system senses uncertainty, pressure, conflict, or emotional discomfort, it turns on its internal alarm system. And instead of calming down, your brain starts scanning for danger—real or imagined.
That scanning sounds like:
“What did I say wrong?”
“Did they misunderstand me?”
“What if I made a mistake?”
“What if something goes wrong?”
“What if I disappoint someone?”
“What if I miss something?”
Overthinking is your brain begging for control in a moment where you feel unsafe or unsure.
It’s not a flaw.
It’s not a failure.
It’s a sign that you’ve been carrying too much, for too long.
Why You Overthink So Much: The Real Reasons
Overthinking doesn’t show up out of nowhere.
It often comes from patterns shaped by your past, your family, your responsibilities, and the pressure you feel to get things “right.”
Here are some of the most common reasons people in therapy tell me they can’t turn their brain off:
1. You grew up in an unpredictable environment.
If you had to stay alert, manage other people’s moods, or avoid conflict, your brain learned to “prepare for the worst.”
Overthinking became protection.
2. You’re used to being the responsible one.
When you’re the one people count on, you start overthinking because you don’t want to let anyone down.
3. You were taught to avoid mistakes at all costs.
Perfectionism and overthinking are close friends.
4. You’ve been through trauma or chronic stress.
Your nervous system stays on high alert, even when life is calm.
5. You struggle with anxiety.
Anxiety turns normal thoughts into loops that don’t stop.
6. You feel pressure to manage everything on your own.
When you never get to rest emotionally, overthinking fills the space.
If any of these made you say “oh… that’s me,” you’re already one step closer to understanding your brain with compassion instead of criticism.
What Overthinking Feels Like in Everyday Life
People often underestimate how much overthinking drains your energy.
Overthinking can look like:
Replaying conversations
Worrying that someone is upset with you
Second-guessing your decisions
Imagining every possible “worst case”
Feeling frozen because you can’t choose anything
Exhaustion from constant mental effort
Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
Feeling on edge all day
Never feeling “done”
Overthinking is exhausting.
It steals your peace and your presence.
And it makes even simple decisions feel heavy.
You deserve better than that.
Your mind deserves rest too.
Why Overthinking Is So Hard to Turn Off
This question comes up a lot in therapy:
“I know I’m overthinking… so why can’t I stop?”
Because willpower cannot override a dysregulated nervous system.
When your body is in a stress response, your brain is not in “calm thinking” mode. It’s in “survival thinking” mode.
That means:
Your thoughts move faster
You interpret things more negatively
You focus on possible danger
You seek control where you can
You replay things to “predict” outcomes
You lose the ability to rest
Overthinking is your brain trying to solve a problem that usually cannot be solved with thinking alone.
This is why simply saying “stop worrying” never works.
Your body needs to feel safe before your mind can slow down.
How to Start Turning Off the Overthinking Cycle
Here are gentle, realistic tools that work—especially for clients who feel overwhelmed, anxious, or stuck in their thoughts.
These are the same strategies I teach clients in online therapy across Chicago and Illinois.
1. Start with your body, not your thoughts.
When your mind is racing, try:
Exhaling slowly
Relaxing your shoulders
Putting your feet flat on the floor
Taking one full, slow belly breath
Letting your jaw soften
Your mind calms when your body feels safe.
2. Name what’s happening: “My brain is trying to protect me.”
This simple phrase:
Lowers shame
Interrupts spiraling
Helps you separate you from your anxious thoughts
You’re not your overthinking.
You’re a person whose brain is tired and doing its best.
3. Ask yourself: “Is this something I can control right now?”
If the answer is no, move your focus to something your body can actually do in this moment—drink water, stretch, step outside, breathe.
Your nervous system needs action, not analysis.
4. Use a “worry window.”
Give yourself a specific time each day (like 10 minutes at 6 p.m.) to think through your worries.
Your brain starts saving the spiraling for later instead of all day long.
5. Try humming to interrupt the thought loop.
Yes, really.
Humming stimulates the vagus nerve, which:
Slows your heart rate
Calms your breathing
Interrupts racing thoughts
It signals your body that you’re safe.
6. Use compassionate questions, not harsh ones.
Instead of:
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why am I like this?”
Try:
“What does my body need right now?”
“What am I afraid might happen?”
“Am I overwhelmed or under-supported?”
Soft questions create softer thoughts.
7. Let the thought finish its sentence.
Sometimes the mind keeps looping because it wants closure.
Ask:
“And then what?”
Often the fear loses power when you bring it into the light.
Signs Overthinking Is Affecting Your Well-Being
If you see yourself in any of these, you’re not alone—and therapy can help:
You can’t fall asleep because your mind keeps going
You replay things people said for hours
You struggle to make decisions, even small ones
You feel mentally exhausted every day
You assume worst-case scenarios
You fear disappointing others
You worry about things that haven’t happened
You constantly feel like you're “missing something”
Overthinking can take over your life.
But it is treatable.
Your brain can learn a calmer way of being.
How Online Anxiety Therapy in Chicago & Illinois Helps You Stop Overthinking
Therapy helps you:
Understand why your thoughts spiral
Learn tools to calm your nervous system
Build trust in your ability to make decisions
Break the habit of second-guessing yourself
Heal the root causes—like trauma, pressure, or emotional neglect
Feel safe inside your body again
Replace self-criticism with self-compassion
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
You don’t have to live in your head all the time.
Your brain can learn to rest.
And we can help you get there.
You Deserve a Mind That Feels Quiet Again
If you’re tired of overthinking everything…
If your mind feels busy but your heart feels tired…
If you’re ready for peace that lasts longer than a few minutes…
We’re here for you.
Start Online Therapy for Overthinking & Anxiety in Chicago and Illinois
Click below to get matched with a therapist who understands anxiety, overwhelm, and the constant pressure to hold everything together.
Your mind can slow down.
Your body can relax.
You can breathe again—without the spiral.
You don’t have to carry this alone.
