When Others Disagree with Your Boundaries: How to Stay Calm

Hey there, welcome! So, we've talked about how important it is to set boundaries to take care of yourself, right? But hey, what happens when someone's not quite on the same page with those boundaries you've set? It's a common question that many of us ask ourselves: "Why do some people not respect my boundaries?" and "What should I do if people get upset about my boundaries?"

Dealing with pushback when you've set limits can be really challenging, leaving you feeling stressed or upset. But hey, here's the thing: it's important to remember that just because you're facing resistance doesn't mean you're in the wrong or that you have to give in to uncomfortable situations. That's where self-soothing techniques come into play! So, in this blog post, we're going to explore some effective ways you can calm yourself down when others aren't quite honoring your boundaries. Let's dive in and discover some awesome strategies together!

Understanding Pushback on Boundaries

Before diving into self-soothing methods, let's understand what pushback on boundaries looks like. It can be when someone disregards your limits, tries to guilt-trip you into changing them, or reacts negatively when you assert yourself. This pushback can trigger feelings of frustration, anxiety, or even guilt. Knowing what pushback looks like is the first step to dealing with it like a pro! So, let's arm ourselves with some helpful strategies to tackle this.

Ways to Self-Soothe

When faced with pushback on your boundaries, it's crucial to practice self-soothing techniques to calm your mind and regain your composure. Here are some strategies to help you navigate these challenging moments:

1. Deep Breathing:

Take slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system. Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times until you feel more relaxed.

2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation:

Start by tensing and then relaxing each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head. Focus on releasing any tension you may be holding onto, allowing your body to feel more at ease.

3. Visualization:

Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful and serene place, such as a tranquil beach or a serene forest. Visualize every detail, from the sights and sounds to the smells and sensations. Let yourself become immersed in this calming imagery.

4. Positive Affirmations:

Repeat affirming statements to yourself, such as “You got this”, "I am worthy of respect," "I deserve to set boundaries that honor my needs," or "I am strong and capable of handling this situation." Remind yourself of your worth and resilience.

5. Grounding Techniques:

Use grounding techniques to bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on the sensations in your body, such as the feeling of your feet on the ground or rubbing your palms together and feeling the warmth of your hands. Notice the details of your surroundings to anchor yourself in the here and now.

6. Hand on Heart Technique:

Place one hand over your heart and feel the gentle rhythm of your heartbeat. This simple gesture can evoke feelings of comfort and self-compassion. As you breathe deeply, imagine sending yourself love and understanding, soothing any tension or discomfort.

7. Engage in Self-Care Activities:

Take time to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's taking a warm bath, listening to soothing music, or spending time in nature, prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.

8. Reach Out for Support:

Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist for support. Talking to someone who understands can provide validation and encouragement during difficult times. You don't have to go through this alone.

9. Journaling:

Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal as a way to process and release them. Expressing yourself on paper can help you gain clarity and perspective on the situation, allowing you to let go of any pent-up emotions.

10. Practice Mindfulness:

Practice mindfulness by bringing your attention to the present moment without judgment. Notice your thoughts and feelings as they arise, but try not to get swept away by them. Instead, gently redirect your focus back to the here and now.

Conclusion

Navigating pushback on your boundaries can be challenging, but with the right self-soothing techniques, you can weather these storms. Remember, boundaries are not mean. They have a way to care for yourself and create stronger, more healthy connections. So, be gentle with yourself and prioritize your well-being. By incorporating some of these strategies, you can cultivate a sense of calm and inner peace, even in the face of adversity. Trust yourself and your ability to handle whatever comes your way, knowing that you are worthy of love, respect, and understanding.

Counseling in Chicago and Illinois

At Mindful Healing Counseling, we understand the challenges that come with relationships and setting boundaries. That's why our team comprises several therapists specialized in working with a variety of concerns and offering counseling services virtually to individuals residing in Chicago and throughout Illinois.

Our therapists are experienced and trained in working with people dealing with various concerns such as anxiety, trauma, depression, pregnancy and postpartum concerns, relationship difficulties, life transitions, setting boundaries, managing family dynamics, navigating grief, and more. We prioritize providing affirming spaces for BIPOC and LGBTQ+ individuals. We offer a range of evidence-based treatments including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness-based approaches, relational therapy, and more. Our services extend to adults of all ages, as well as teens, college students, couples, and families.

Reach out to us today. You can contact us by filling out our contact form or by calling or texting us at 708-419-3171. We're here to support you every step of the way.