Discovering Your Personal Core Values: The Compass to Your Authentic Self
Welcome! Today, we're diving into the topic of personal core values—the things that guide us and make us who we are. Think of them as our personal compass, pointing us in the direction of what really matters. We'll explore why they're important, how to find them, and a list of common values to help you get started.
Understanding Personal Core Values
So, what are these core values? They're basically the beliefs and principles that are super important to us, the things that make us who we are. They're not about what other people think we should value; they're about what feels right and authentic to us.
Identifying Your Core Values
Finding your core values is like discovering hidden treasures within yourself. Take some time to think about what makes you happy, what gets you going, and what you just can't live without. Is it being kind, telling the truth, being creative, or seeking adventure? These are some examples of core values.
Why Are Core Values Important to Our Lives?
You might be wondering, why even bother figuring out my core values? Well, knowing them is like having a secret weapon—it helps you live a life that feels true to yourself. Here's why they matter:
Guidance in Decision-Making: When we're faced with tough choices, our core values help us figure out what to do. They give us a sense of direction, whether it's choosing a job, doing the right thing, or dealing with relationships.
Authenticity and Integrity: Living by our core values means being true to ourselves in everything we do. When our actions match our beliefs, we come across as honest and trustworthy. With this, we feel more genuinely who we are.
Greater Fulfillment and Meaning: Prioritizing our core values makes life feel more meaningful and satisfying. Whether it's following our passions, building strong relationships, or making a difference, living by our values makes life richer.
Resilience in Tough Times: When things get rough, our core values keep us grounded and help us bounce back. Sticking to what's important to us gives us strength and courage to face challenges.
Building Real Connections: When we honor our core values, we attract people who share our beliefs. Authentic relationships are based on mutual respect and understanding, which come from having similar values.
Two Types of Personal Values
As we’ve talked about, our values are like our personal compasses, guiding us through life's twists and turns. There are generally two main types: personal integrity values and relational intention values. Personal integrity values are about sticking to our own beliefs and how we want to show up in the world, like being honest even when it's tough, showing kindness to others, or taking responsibility for our actions. For example, a person with a strong personal integrity value of honesty would prioritize truthfulness in all situations, even when it's difficult or uncomfortable. For instance, if they accidentally break something belonging to a friend, they would openly admit their mistake and take responsibility for it, rather than trying to hide the truth or shift blame.
Relational intention values, on the other hand, are about how we treat and connect with others and how we want our relationships to be. They're like the glue that holds relationships together. These values include things like respecting others, being empathetic, and building trust. A relational intention value for a romantic relationship could be "communication." Communication involves openly expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs with your partner while also actively listening to and understanding their perspective. For example, if you and your partner have different ideas about how to spend time together, prioritizing communication would mean discussing your preferences and finding a compromise that works for both of you. Effective communication helps build trust, deepen connection, and resolve conflicts in a healthy way within a romantic relationship.
The personal integrity and relational intention values are personal to you and differ for everyone. There is no right or wrong here. Next, is figuring out what those values are for you.
How to Discover Your Core Values
Now that we know why core values matter, let's talk about how to find them. Here are some steps to get started:
Reflect on Your Experiences: Think about times when you felt really good about yourself or proud of what you did. What values were important to you in those moments?
Explore Your Passions: What activities or hobbies make you feel alive? Whether it's volunteering, making art, or exploring nature, our passions often reflect our core values.
Consider Your Beliefs: What do you really care about? Whether it's fairness, protecting the environment, or being kind to others, our beliefs can point us toward our core values.
Ask for Feedback: Sometimes, our friends or family can give us insight into what we value. Ask a trusted family member or friend what they think you're good at or what seems important to you.
Make a List: Write down all the values that resonate with you, then pick the ones that feel most true to who you are.
20 Common Personal Values
Here's a list of 20 common core values to help you get started:
Kindness
Honesty
Integrity
Compassion
Respect
Accountability
Responsibility
Gratitude
Authenticity
Courage
Loyalty
Empathy
Generosity
Creativity
Freedom
Adventure
Family
Friendship
Justice
Balance
How to Apply Your Values into Daily Life
Once you've figured out your core values, it's time to live by them. Here are some ways to do that:
Start Each Day with Intentions: Think about how you can live your values every day. Whether it's being kind, being honest, or being true to yourself, set intentions to guide your actions.
Make Decisions Based on Your Values: When you're faced with a tough choice, think about which option aligns best with your core values. This can be in daily decisions, the type of relationships you want, help with creating healthy boundaries, and more. Sometimes, it means taking the harder path, but it's worth it in the end.
Set Boundaries: Protect your values by saying no to things that go against them. It's okay to put yourself first and make space for what's important to you.
Reflect Regularly: Take time to think about how your actions align with your values. It helps you stay true to yourself and feel good about the choices you make.
Celebrate Your Authenticity: Embrace who you are and be proud of it. Share your journey with others and inspire them to live by their values too.
Conclusion: Embrace Your True Self
In conclusion, knowing our core values helps us live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. They guide us through tough times, help us make decisions, and build meaningful relationships. So, let's embrace who we are and live by our values, knowing that it leads to a life filled with purpose and joy.
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