Feelings are Not Facts
Most of us have been there....you're driving and out of nowhere another driver jumps in front of you and cuts you off. You swerve and slam on your brakes to avoid hitting them and are flooded by fear. Your next action depends on your interpretation of the other driver’s behavior. If you say, "Wow, what a jerk" or use other choice phrases, it fuels feelings of anger. But, what if the car quickly pulls into an emergency room? Your emotions and response may change from one of anger to compassion and/or concern.
Have you regretted your response to a situation after acting in the heat of the moment? While an emotion can be short lived, our interpretations (i.e. thoughts) about that experience can lead down a long and sometimes faulty road. For example, your spouse forgets to take out the trash. Do you think, “they just don’t care about me or this house” or rather “maybe they were busy and forgot”? Our assumptions about the fact that the trash was not taken out cause different feelings.
Emotions exist for a reason. They are simply messengers to alert us that there is something we need to pay attention to. They are biological and begin with physical arousal and hormonal changes in our bodies. Past experiences influence these feelings and cause similar physical responses.
In every culture around the world, there are 5 core emotions. They are universal. These are joy, fear, anger, sadness and disgust. There are many nuances within each emotion. For instance, anger in a mild form may be irritation, but in an extreme form could be rage.
An emotion wheel is based off of the 5 core emotions.
The skill from DBT therapy coined 'Check the Facts' can help people gain more control over how they respond to emotions in the future.
If you find yourself in a difficult situation, try taking these steps:
1. Observe what you are feeling.
2. Ask yourself do the facts warrant the intensity of the feeling?
Then ask these questions:
What is the emotion I want to change?
What is the event prompting my emotion?
What are my interpretations and assumptions about the event? Do they fit the facts?
Am I assuming a threat? Will it actually occur?
What's the disaster? How can I cope well with it?
Does my emotion and/or its intensity fit the facts?
Using this skill can help you pause, take a step back and make a healthier decision to act. Your emotions don’t have to be in control and overwhelm you. This can start with taking just a few moments each day to pause and check in with yourself. How are you feeling today? What do you need? What would bring you joy?
Anxiety Treatment in Chicago and Illinois
At Mindful Healing Counseling, we understand the challenges of living with anxiety. That's why our team comprises several therapists specialized in anxiety treatment, offering counseling services virtually to individuals residing in Chicago and throughout Illinois.
Our therapists are experienced and trained in working with people dealing with various concerns such as anxiety, trauma, depression, pregnancy and postpartum concerns, relationship difficulties, life transitions, setting boundaries, managing family dynamics, navigating grief, and more. We prioritize providing affirming spaces for BIPOC and LGBTQ+ individuals. We offer a range of evidence-based treatments including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness-based approaches, relational therapy, and more. Our services extend to adults of all ages, as well as teens, college students, couples, and families.
Reach out to us today. You can contact us by filling out our contact form or by calling or texting us at 708-419-3171. We're here to support you every step of the way.
